I'm counting down the days until the new year, welcoming a fresh start for our family. Electronics are going to be falling to the wayside while more family oriented activities, walks, games, and exercise will be introduced. We are committing to doing more together and to becoming the close knit family we have wanted but haven't been working towards these past almost fourteen years. After much reflection and a lot of talking, Ryan and I have come to the conclusion that we have been growing apart rather than together. He has had his life with work and friends and the kids and I have had mine with the kids and friends. We have not had a life that mixed that all together and we were going our separate ways without acknowledging it to each other. Unfortunately, I think our kids have noticed, whether they say anything or not and neither of us want them to suffer because of our actions.
Ryan will be heading home sometime at the beginning of the year and we expect date nights to increase, along with family fun nights and weekends, and more communication. After all, what's a family without time spent together with laughter and talking? It amazes me that it took fourteen years to finally figure it out. We had a rude wake up call during his visit home three weeks ago and I hope we never ever get back to that place. I hope that we can continue to look forward and only get stronger together. I'm so excited for him to come back home. I hope he is too!
Tuesday, November 5, 2013
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
Fed up with the kids' school
I don't think I've ever been so upset with an educational institution as I have been this week. I had yet another IEP meeting with the school to initiate additional testing for Cora. They continue to tell me that she is working at grade level and that since she's keeping up with her peers, there is no need to pull her out of the classroom and give her additional support. I think it's the biggest bunch of malarkey I've ever heard.
My daughter who is going to be 10 next month and is in the fourth grade is still counting on her fingers to come up with basic addition answers. She has not learned her simple addition and subtraction facts because something is causing her to not be able to retain them. Last year, in third grade, they introduced multiplication and Cora's only option was to learn how to draw pictures of the problem and then count out all the pictures to get the answer. So, if she had 4x3 she would would draw four groups of three circles, then she'd count all the circles to get the answer. While that's a great way to help solve the problem, she still needs to have her multiplication facts memorized because this year she is going to have to multiply using two and three digit numbers. She can't draw 84 groups of 76 circles if the problem is 84x76. That's just ridiculous. It took her forever to get the concept of working from right to left when adding or subtracting multiple digit numbers and every time we sit down to do math I have to reteach her carrying or borrowing so I just don't understand how if she's struggling with 1st, 2nd, and 3rd grade math concepts still, why her teachers insist on saying she's working at grade level. They tell me that a few other kids are also counting on fingers still so because Cora does that, she's not behind if others do too. To me that shows me that other kids are also behind and the school doesn't see it as a problem.
I received her Lexile reading score of 344. That was lower than the score she received back at the end of 2nd grade and at the end of 3rd grade. (On a side note, she never did progress farther in third grade with her reading than she ever did in 2nd grade. Her Lexile score was lower at the end of 3rd than it was at the end of 2nd.) I admitted that a student's scores will drop over the summer if they didn't keep up with their reading but that' 80 points lower which is ridiculous. The teachers told me that she was going to retake it outside of the normal classroom with the special education teacher so that Cora would be allowed to read out loud. This is exactly what we had decided at her previous IEP meeting at the end of last year. HOWEVER, this was not the plan carried out this year. Only after she did poorly did they decide to give her the option of what was in her IEP. Last I checked they are supposed to follow her IEP, not only use it once she's fails the other way. Why set her up to have her self confidence knocked down yet again?! I don't understand. By the way, for readers that don't know what and IEP is, it's an Individualized Education Plan set up for students who need additional help and support with learning in or outside the classroom and Lexile Scores are a way to evaluate where children are at in their reading in relation to the average in their grades. For Grade Levels 4-5, the Lexile Band that a student should fall into is 645-850. Again, Cora was at a 344. For Grade Levels 2-3, the Lexile Band that a student should fall into is 450-725. To me this means that she's working below a 2nd grade level in reading. The teachers did admit it was low and that they were going to retest her but even when they tested her at the end of last year correctly with the ability to read aloud he was still only in the low 400's. How is that anyway near where she's supposed to be?
I have resorted to paying out of pocket for two tutors to come every day of the week. One comes Tuesdays and Thursdays and the other comes Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. One helps Cora with homework and one helps with going over the rudimentary parts of learning math. We have gone back to the basics. The school is aware and tells me that she doesn't need the extra support because that support outside of the classroom is for kids that need to learn in a different learning style than the other kids in the class or for kids that have holes that need to be filled in from previous years and that doesn't fit her description. That is exactly what I think Cora needs and they continue to disagree. She has an IEP, they have the ability to give her the extra support, but they absolutely refuse to admit that she actually does need help. The problem is that she isn't disruptive in the classroom, she will do the work if reminded to get started so she isn't a big problem for the teachers. Therefore, they see very little problems and no reason to remove her for extra support classes.
I never thought I'd have to see my kid fail in order to finally get the help she needs. The school itself is setting her up for failure instead of helping her to succeed. The school is in the process of retesting her and it will need to be done within the next 90 days. As a parent, I have resorted to having to say, "I REALLY AND TRULY HOPE THAT MY DAUGHTER COMPLETELY FAILS THESE TESTS SO THAT THE SCHOOL WILL FINALLY REALIZE THERE IS A PROBLEM AND SHE CAN FINALLY GET THE HELP SHE SO DESPERATELY NEEDS." What kind of parent should ever have to say that about their kid?! What kind of education system do we have set up in this country that allows a kid to completely fall flat on their face before they'll finally recognize that they really did need help?! I'm at a loss. It is me against the school and my daughter is caught in the crossfire! I welcome any suggestions, comments and help. I don't know what to do.
My daughter who is going to be 10 next month and is in the fourth grade is still counting on her fingers to come up with basic addition answers. She has not learned her simple addition and subtraction facts because something is causing her to not be able to retain them. Last year, in third grade, they introduced multiplication and Cora's only option was to learn how to draw pictures of the problem and then count out all the pictures to get the answer. So, if she had 4x3 she would would draw four groups of three circles, then she'd count all the circles to get the answer. While that's a great way to help solve the problem, she still needs to have her multiplication facts memorized because this year she is going to have to multiply using two and three digit numbers. She can't draw 84 groups of 76 circles if the problem is 84x76. That's just ridiculous. It took her forever to get the concept of working from right to left when adding or subtracting multiple digit numbers and every time we sit down to do math I have to reteach her carrying or borrowing so I just don't understand how if she's struggling with 1st, 2nd, and 3rd grade math concepts still, why her teachers insist on saying she's working at grade level. They tell me that a few other kids are also counting on fingers still so because Cora does that, she's not behind if others do too. To me that shows me that other kids are also behind and the school doesn't see it as a problem.
I received her Lexile reading score of 344. That was lower than the score she received back at the end of 2nd grade and at the end of 3rd grade. (On a side note, she never did progress farther in third grade with her reading than she ever did in 2nd grade. Her Lexile score was lower at the end of 3rd than it was at the end of 2nd.) I admitted that a student's scores will drop over the summer if they didn't keep up with their reading but that' 80 points lower which is ridiculous. The teachers told me that she was going to retake it outside of the normal classroom with the special education teacher so that Cora would be allowed to read out loud. This is exactly what we had decided at her previous IEP meeting at the end of last year. HOWEVER, this was not the plan carried out this year. Only after she did poorly did they decide to give her the option of what was in her IEP. Last I checked they are supposed to follow her IEP, not only use it once she's fails the other way. Why set her up to have her self confidence knocked down yet again?! I don't understand. By the way, for readers that don't know what and IEP is, it's an Individualized Education Plan set up for students who need additional help and support with learning in or outside the classroom and Lexile Scores are a way to evaluate where children are at in their reading in relation to the average in their grades. For Grade Levels 4-5, the Lexile Band that a student should fall into is 645-850. Again, Cora was at a 344. For Grade Levels 2-3, the Lexile Band that a student should fall into is 450-725. To me this means that she's working below a 2nd grade level in reading. The teachers did admit it was low and that they were going to retest her but even when they tested her at the end of last year correctly with the ability to read aloud he was still only in the low 400's. How is that anyway near where she's supposed to be?
I have resorted to paying out of pocket for two tutors to come every day of the week. One comes Tuesdays and Thursdays and the other comes Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. One helps Cora with homework and one helps with going over the rudimentary parts of learning math. We have gone back to the basics. The school is aware and tells me that she doesn't need the extra support because that support outside of the classroom is for kids that need to learn in a different learning style than the other kids in the class or for kids that have holes that need to be filled in from previous years and that doesn't fit her description. That is exactly what I think Cora needs and they continue to disagree. She has an IEP, they have the ability to give her the extra support, but they absolutely refuse to admit that she actually does need help. The problem is that she isn't disruptive in the classroom, she will do the work if reminded to get started so she isn't a big problem for the teachers. Therefore, they see very little problems and no reason to remove her for extra support classes.
I never thought I'd have to see my kid fail in order to finally get the help she needs. The school itself is setting her up for failure instead of helping her to succeed. The school is in the process of retesting her and it will need to be done within the next 90 days. As a parent, I have resorted to having to say, "I REALLY AND TRULY HOPE THAT MY DAUGHTER COMPLETELY FAILS THESE TESTS SO THAT THE SCHOOL WILL FINALLY REALIZE THERE IS A PROBLEM AND SHE CAN FINALLY GET THE HELP SHE SO DESPERATELY NEEDS." What kind of parent should ever have to say that about their kid?! What kind of education system do we have set up in this country that allows a kid to completely fall flat on their face before they'll finally recognize that they really did need help?! I'm at a loss. It is me against the school and my daughter is caught in the crossfire! I welcome any suggestions, comments and help. I don't know what to do.
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
So Bad At This
So, as I was reading other people's blogs tonight, I realized that I haven't written on here in a really long time. I'm thinking it's time for me to suck it up and admit that I'm really bad at this writing thing. I originally started this to let people that didn't want to get on Facebook know what was going on in our lives. I'm pretty sure, they probably think we fell off the face of the earth. That's about how well this blogging thing is going. So, here I go again, trying to turn over a new leaf...once again, trying to let you know what's been going on.
School is about ready to start. It has been a LONG summer and I'm ready for the kids to be back in school and extracurricular activities. We spent the summer traveling, some unexpected and some expected. As you know Ryan left in January for Afghanistan, so the kids and I got to do all the traveling by ourselves.
When school ended in June, we headed back to South Dakota to say an unexpected goodbye to a family member we never even got the chance to meet. Kylie Raelyn Aas was in our thoughts and prayers throughout the entire year and her family continues to be after her passing. On a positive note, we were able to spend a little time with Grandpa and Grandma Chilson and Aunt Nikki and quite a bit of time with Grandma Debbie. The kids hung out at a couple water parks, visited with Great Grandma Fergason and saw the St. Louis Arch on the way back home. While it was a spur of the moment thing, and a crazy amount of driving, we wouldn't have changed anything about how we spent our June 2012.
July was spent traveling as well. We went up to Virginia Beach and stayed with our friend Devon for a night in order to say hello and then headed up for our 10 day vacation over the fourth of July in Washington D.C. and Baltimore, MD. We were able to spend our vacation with friends and see some of the sights the big city had to offer. Dominick then went on a 6 day vacation of his own in D.C. to the Junior National Youth Leaders Conference where he met lots of friends (especially girls) and got to experience the big city without parents. He had a blast. During this time, Hayden, Cora and I took Jenn and her girls back home to South Carolina, went up to visit my cousin Rebekah and her family in Conway, SC and then back up to Portsmouth, VA for a couple days to see a friend before picking Dominick back up. While most people would think our trip would be ending, we surprised everyone and went up to Connecticut to visit a long time friend of the family who finally had a baby, Lisa!! We spent a week with her and baby Lacey catching up, reminiscing over the past, and planning our next visit together. It was a wonderful time! Then, we finally headed back south to Severn, MD where we stayed with another friend for a couple nights to catch up after not having seen them for 2 years as well. This was the month for seeing all our long time good friends. The only thing that could have made it better was having Ryan here with us. On the way back from Severn, MD we stayed another night with our friend back in Portsmouth, VA and then headed back to NC.
August was spent unpacking, cleaning, getting back into the routine of gymnastics, piano lessons, and church. But, this month has not been without it's trials as well. I've had a rough week this past week with watching a good friend have to bury his 16 year old son. It really puts family into perspective and makes me cherish the time I have with my kids even more. However, that doesn't mean that I don't need time away sometimes to miss them and make that love grow deeper. So, the proper way to end the month is for school to get back in session. Unfortunately, my college classes already started on the 19th. Now, it's the kids' turn to have this wonderful opportunity of learning as well. (I'm sure the kids are SUPER excited!) Now it's time to see what this fall will bring us. I know one exciting gift will be a visit from Ryan in October! That will be wonderful!
School is about ready to start. It has been a LONG summer and I'm ready for the kids to be back in school and extracurricular activities. We spent the summer traveling, some unexpected and some expected. As you know Ryan left in January for Afghanistan, so the kids and I got to do all the traveling by ourselves.
When school ended in June, we headed back to South Dakota to say an unexpected goodbye to a family member we never even got the chance to meet. Kylie Raelyn Aas was in our thoughts and prayers throughout the entire year and her family continues to be after her passing. On a positive note, we were able to spend a little time with Grandpa and Grandma Chilson and Aunt Nikki and quite a bit of time with Grandma Debbie. The kids hung out at a couple water parks, visited with Great Grandma Fergason and saw the St. Louis Arch on the way back home. While it was a spur of the moment thing, and a crazy amount of driving, we wouldn't have changed anything about how we spent our June 2012.
July was spent traveling as well. We went up to Virginia Beach and stayed with our friend Devon for a night in order to say hello and then headed up for our 10 day vacation over the fourth of July in Washington D.C. and Baltimore, MD. We were able to spend our vacation with friends and see some of the sights the big city had to offer. Dominick then went on a 6 day vacation of his own in D.C. to the Junior National Youth Leaders Conference where he met lots of friends (especially girls) and got to experience the big city without parents. He had a blast. During this time, Hayden, Cora and I took Jenn and her girls back home to South Carolina, went up to visit my cousin Rebekah and her family in Conway, SC and then back up to Portsmouth, VA for a couple days to see a friend before picking Dominick back up. While most people would think our trip would be ending, we surprised everyone and went up to Connecticut to visit a long time friend of the family who finally had a baby, Lisa!! We spent a week with her and baby Lacey catching up, reminiscing over the past, and planning our next visit together. It was a wonderful time! Then, we finally headed back south to Severn, MD where we stayed with another friend for a couple nights to catch up after not having seen them for 2 years as well. This was the month for seeing all our long time good friends. The only thing that could have made it better was having Ryan here with us. On the way back from Severn, MD we stayed another night with our friend back in Portsmouth, VA and then headed back to NC.
August was spent unpacking, cleaning, getting back into the routine of gymnastics, piano lessons, and church. But, this month has not been without it's trials as well. I've had a rough week this past week with watching a good friend have to bury his 16 year old son. It really puts family into perspective and makes me cherish the time I have with my kids even more. However, that doesn't mean that I don't need time away sometimes to miss them and make that love grow deeper. So, the proper way to end the month is for school to get back in session. Unfortunately, my college classes already started on the 19th. Now, it's the kids' turn to have this wonderful opportunity of learning as well. (I'm sure the kids are SUPER excited!) Now it's time to see what this fall will bring us. I know one exciting gift will be a visit from Ryan in October! That will be wonderful!
Monday, September 3, 2012
Busy Fall Family Time
School has started for the kids and for myself. Ryan of course is working, working, working! This fall is going to be busy with schoolwork, gymnastics, baseball, housecleaning, piano lessons, wood working, and having as much family time as possible. We just realized that Ryan most likely will get his much awaited deployment. He's been non-deployable for so long being in Iwakuni that he missed it. Hopefully, the kids will be able to handle Ryan being gone. They were so young during his last deployments and now all of them will really understand what is going on. If anyone actually reads this and has any tips, I'd love to hear them. :-)
Saturday, May 12, 2012
Summertime
Normally, I dread summers because it means that I will be either stuck at the pool 24/7 hoping no kids drown or sitting in my house in the A/C dodging the heat with 3 cooped up kids that are fighting nonstop. This is the first year I'm actually excited about school ending and summer beginning. We get to travel back to South Dakota and stay for a month. I'll get to show the kids where I grew up and what I did as a little kid and allow them to have a month of fun times like I did growing up. Staying up late at night hanging out with friends, playing at the parks and the pool, and hanging out with grandparents. Should be a nice relaxing time where I don't have to worry about cleaning my house, doing my homework, or teaching piano. One whole month of relaxation and I can visit with my friends from high school as well. I can't wait!!
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Wow, we're getting old!
I cannot believe that tomorrow is Dominick's 11th birthday! 2 more years and we will have a teenager on our hands! It seemed not that long ago that we were changing those diapers, cleaning his messy hands, and teaching him how to tie his shoes. Now, we're playing chauffeur to drive him to and from gymnastics, baseball and robotics, teaching him how to clean toilets and to cook. Our biggest challenge, though, is trying to get him to make good decisions so that we can trust him since he'll be heading off to middle school this next year. He has mentioned being allowed to have a cell phone and I still think he's on crack but Ryan is thinking about it more and more. I know I didn't have a cell phone until I was in college and yes, times are changing but good golly, if he can't get anywhere on his own and he's for the most part around adults, why does he need to run up our already ridiculously expensive Verizon bill any further? I'm sure though that the first couple times I can't get ahold of him and his new "tweeny bopper" friends, I'll be wishing we had gotten him that darn phone. However, we had a long conversation about how he would never need that phone if we couldn't trust him to be off by himself with his friends. He's working on making good decisions this week so his birthday party doesn't get taken away from him and he knows we're serious because he had no birthday party a couple of years ago for the same reason. The consequence that would go along with no birthday party is no playing outside with friends without parental supervision and don't think for a minute that this mom and dad have any qualms about following our 11 year around and letting his friends know why we're there. He's terrified of that consequence so most of his decisions have been good so far this week. We've had a couple bad choices here and there but they're minimal so we're happy to see improvement. Realizing that teaching these things to our children is in our future instead of ABC's and 123's is making me feel that we are getting up there in years. I'm realizing that it's been 15 years since we graduated, 12 of which we've been married and 11 of which we've been parents. We're growing up and by golly so are our children! Thanks Dominick for making us feel "OLD on your special day. We love you and are proud of the person you are becoming.
Mom and Dad
Mom and Dad
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
School sucks! Vacation NEEDED!
Heading this weekend to Virginia Beach and Williamsburg, VA for a much needed vacation over Easter! I can't express how much school has sucked this semester and how much I just want to quit! Then, I look at my kiddos and realize how bad of an example I'd be setting if I quit so I will continue on this hellish journey until I have a degree. This is why this weekend sounds so delightful. Sitting at Virginia Beach with only two kids while Ryan takes the oldest golfing, relaxing the next day in a pool at our timeshare with only two kids while Ryan and Dominick go golfing again sounds like a dream! 3 nights where I don't have to worry about anything but relaxing.......sounds peaceful. Is it Friday yet??????
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